Red by Amanda Bratsch and Taubie Sanders

Anger is burning red consumption
Taking over me.
I want to scream, I want to throw something
But I manage to control myself.
How can such a little person
Be so aggravating?
Why do I let little things get to me?
Why do I just stand there and burn?
Why does the red drip over my face and fall to the floor?
Why am I SO MAD?!?!?!?!?

The Choice by Amanda Bratsch and Taubie Sanders

I’m so sick of how you treat me
You make me feel so terrible,
Then you act like I’m the bad guy.
I’m so sick of smiling and laughing with you
Like your insults are a joke.
But if I stand up to you, 
you’ll tell people I’m a jerk.
There is no good option.
Do I take your abuse or do I 
Slap it in your face
Then have my courage used against me?
Hobson’s choice.
I know what I must do. 
Mwah ha ha ha ha.
I will regret this.
But I hope that you will too.
We will stand up for what we know is right.

Not What it Seems by Taubie Sanders (746 words)

The sun rose over the mountain at exactly five thirty on Sunday morning.  Mira Albernik awoke exactly at that time.  She crept out of her room and slowly tip toed down the stairs being careful not to wake her fellow orphan children.

“Mira! What are you doing?” Miss Hendry was unfortunately already awake.

“Uh… I just had to go to the bathroom and now I’m going back to bed.” It was a pretty good cover-up.  Miss Hendry didn’t buy it.

 “Why would you go back to bed?  It’s five thirty!  Get down here, eat breakfast and start getting ready for my date today” she said.

“Okay” Mira faked.  She slapped a dress on, jumped out the open window and slid down the roof.  Now this was the hard part, jumping off the roof onto the ground.  Mira placed her hands directly in front of her feet and jumped.  Suddenly a sharp pain shot up her shoeless foot.  She looked down; a patch of white sumac lay beneath her.

She shook it off and ran towards the small hole in the landscape off in the distance.  As she got close the hole began to open wider.  When she finally reached the hole tired and in pain a hand came out, grabbed her and pulled her in.  The world swirled around her and a screen appeared.

“Agent Mira, welcome back,” A futuristic computer voice said. “You have ten new missions”.

 “Great” Mira slapped her forehead “let’s just get this over with before Miss Hendry figures out I’m gone for her ‘special date’.  Technically every Miss Hendry date was considered ‘special’ when she was in charge of the Ellikna Hills Foster Home for Children.

 The screen disappeared and Mira stepped into the darkness where the screen once stood.  Then, another face appeared this time it was not recognizable to Mira.

 “Hello, how are you today?” his voice was rough like sandpaper.

 “Uh I don’t talk to strangers”

 “I’m not a stranger Mira” his face turned into a frown beneath his matted brown hair.  Mira frowned along with him.  “I’m your father”.  Mira’s mouth dropped open.  She couldn’t believe it.  After twelve years of knowing nothing it happened now, at this moment, at this time, now?

 “Why?  What?  How?  Who are you?” she didn’t try to say it, it just came out.

 “I told you Mira, I’m your father” his blue eyes pierced her skin.

“Why are you here?”

 “Because, I’m your father Mira.” Slowly his hand wrapped around her wrist.

 “What are you doing?” She slowly began to slide her wrist out of his grasp.  He was silent.  “You aren’t my father, are you?” Silence again.  Mira tried harder to pull her wrist out of his grasp, but he was just too strong.  She pulled again, nothing.  Again, and again, and again she tried.  His face curled into a small smirk.

 Then she saw it.  She recognized that face.  It was the face of the enemy.  Any well trained secret agent could see that, and thankfully the enemy just happened to be an army of robots.  Her hand curled around to the back of the robot’s neck and felt for any type of different surface.  But she couldn’t find one.  It all felt like rough skin.  A sharp pain was felt around her wrist and she groaned.

 “Not this time Mira” the robot knew what she as doing.

 “Great” Mira said slamming her head into his knee “OW!  Why do I have to get so mad?  Suddenly she sensed her body was being let go.  The robot’s head fell onto her head and all of a sudden she felt a sharp pain in her neck.

 “Mira, Mira are you awake?!”  Mira’s eyes fluttered open to an array of head above her. 

 “Oh, thank the heavens I thought you were dead!  No one would date me if I killed a child” Miss Hendry’s face stuck out among the rest of the children.  “Missy, you have a lot of explaining to do”

 “Oh yeah about that” Miss Hendry’s face formed a smile “I’m kind of a secret agent who got attacked by a robot.  Then I Turned him off and somehow fainted.”

 “I’m not dumb it’s kind of obvious that happened to you.”

 “What?”

 “I know you are a secret agent.  Everybody here is a secret agent.”

 “Seriously?” Mira looked around.  Everyone smiled

 “Here, I’ll help you up,” Miss Hendry flashed a smile.  Mira smiled too knowing that everything was going to be okay.

Because I Really Wanted to Join the Witness Protection Program by Taubie Sanders and Amanda Bratsch

I love the flash of the lights, the clash of the clapboard.  My life is perfect.  What part of being a reality TV star wouldn’t be?

“Karrie!  Get on set now!  I don’t need any more angry fans.”

“Okay!  Okay!  Gosh I didn’t know that was so important to you.”

“It’s kind of my job.”

“Agreed.”

“Okay three, two, one action!” Dina enters.  I jaunt around the set kitchen as if the cameras aren’t there.  That’s the thing about reality TV shows.  It’s all fake.  I love it.

“Um what are you doing in here Karrie?” Dina Tey is such a good actress she’s bound to be in an actual TV show some day.

“Uh it’s my house too, sis,” I say squinting into the distance to read from the teleprompter.

“Oh, yeah forgot about that,” Dina says

“Cut! Cut! Cut!” Elbert slaps his forehead.  “Seriously, you forgot about that?  She is your sister!  I’m Elbert Spence, I have better things to do than spend my time with you people!”  I look down.  I thought I was important.  “Scene one take two.  Lights, camera, action.”

“Hey sis how are you doing?” This time Helen entered first.

“Uh… I can’t see the teleprompter,” I squint into the darkness behind the lights “I think I need glasses.  Wait… no, I need contacts, glasses are ugly.”

“Cut!  Oh my gosh Karrie!  I’ll move the stupid teleprompter forward.  Now this time let’s not fail!  Scene one, take two.  Action!”

“Hey girl, how’s it going,” I’ve never heard Helen talk like that before.

“I still can’t read the teleprompter,” I say glaring at Mike the set guy.

“Cut!  You know what, we are done for today, bye.”  Dina comes out from behind the set.

“Thanks a lot Karrie!  You made Elbert aggravated.  Now he’s probably going to cancel the show or something.” She stomps away leaving me standing there alone with Helen.

“I think you need glasses.” she says and struts away.

“What?!  You know I think they make you look gruesome!”  I was left just standing there.  Just me and the cleanup guys.  I plop down into the chair near me.  CRASH!  I forgot the chair is fake, like everything else here, fake.

I get up off the floor, look around and stomp out the door.

“Okay guys, let’s make today better than yesterday.  I don’t need you wasting my time again.  Lights, camera, action!”

“Hey I’m back.” Dina places a group of shopping bags on the counter.

“Uh… I can’t see it again.” Everyone swivels around to take their turn at giving me a menacing stare.

“Karrie come here please” Elbert says and I cringe.  “You have got to start trying, do you hear me?”

“Uh, yeah.’’

“That was a rhetorical question.  Anyway, you are the only person here who needs a teleprompter.  Why can’t you just memorize lines?  Everyone else can!” his brow begins furrow.  “You are an untalented, blunderous, crude, helpless, irritating, disturbing, jerk!”

I look down trying to hide my tears.  Elbert Spence may be a famous director, but he would never win the award for the nicest person on earth.  “Okay, now get back on set and try this time!”  I drag my feet into my place and wait for the dreaded words.  “Lights, camera, action!”

“Hey sis, I’m home.” Helen waits, anticipating my future fail.

“Great, good for you,” I say and Helen looks surprised that I didn’t fail.

“Well what do you want to eat for dinner tonight?”

I freeze.

“Uh… frog eyes,” I say immediately regretting it and waiting for the yell of the word ‘cut’.  But it is absent.

“Ew that’s disgusting!”  Helen crinkles her nose

“Well it’s not my fault I’m not perfect!” my emotions need to come out. “Why do you think Elbert called me over and yelled at me?  Why do you think I need a teleprompter?  Why do you think I can’t act, or sing, or dance, or be a normal person?!” Out of the corner of my eye I see Dina creep out onto the set.  “Why do you think everyone hates me?  Why do you think I can’t go anywhere without getting insults?  I’m tired!  I’m tired of this persecution, I’m tired of everyone expecting me to be perfect!” the cameras keep rolling.  “I’m tired of everyone being a jerk!  I’m tired of life!”.

I plop down on the ground and leave myself there to rot.  Unfortunately, I don’t spontaneously combust. That would have been, like, SO dramatic. I drop my head into my hands and wait for Elbert to start yelling. But he doesn’t. No one does. In fact, the entire set has gone completely silent. I stare at everyone. They’re frozen in place, staring back at me. After about 10 seconds, everyone unfreezes and starts clapping. Applause. For me! Just like I‘ve always dreamed. Elbert is loudly and excitedly talking about ratings and drama and money and fame. Helen and Dina are glaring at me. I glare back at them and stomp away.

Halfway dead on the LA highway, I realize what I’ve done. My life is over. My career is over. Nothing matters anymore.  I just completely made a horrible image of myself on national television.  Now I have an even worse public image than I did before.

“WHY?!” I scream banging my head on the dashboard “OW!” I screamed again rubbing my forehead.  “CRAP!” I scream realizing the car window is rolled down.  I glare out the window at the people videotaping me.  “SHUT THAT PHONE OFF!” I yell at them.  The delinquent on my right puts on a pair of sunglasses and keeps recording.  “I SAID TURN IT OFF YOU DELINQUINT!”

I grab the stuffed die hanging from my front mirror and chuck it at her.  She catches them and chucks them back at me while still recording they land on the road so I pick up the agate that sits on my dash board and chuck it at her.  It hits her in the head and suddenly her eyes roll into the back of her head.  Her hands fall off the steering wheel and her car abruptly stops.

BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!  I look back and ten cars are in a pileup behind her.  Out the window of her car I see a hand hanging holding a bright pink phone.  “WHY?  WHY?  WHY?  WHY?”  I honk the horn multiple times and begin the even longer trek home.

Right when I got home I immediately turn on the computer and go to news4theworld.com.  The first heading I see is ‘KARRIE REDGER IS OFFICIALLY CRAZY’.

“CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!” I knew this was going to happen.  Just to be sure I’m not all over the internet I go check the ‘New York Times’ website.  The very first thing I see ‘KARRIE REDGER IS OFFICIALLY CRAZY’ next to the title there is a video.  Out of curiosity and partly rage I click the play button.  I could not believe my beautiful eyes.  Let’s just say I should not have engaged in activity with ‘the delinquent’.

That video, taken by a bright pink phone, that phone belongs to editor in chief of ‘The New York Times’.  The video went on to show what a ‘jerk’ I am and how I should apparently be in an insane asylum.  I slammed the computer down and stormed into my room.  The canopy bed was the only thing making me feel safe so I flopped onto it, hiding my face in the pillow and bawling my eyes out as if I was four again.  I fell asleep with images of terror in my head that night.

When I woke up, I immediately checked my phone. I had 3-billion new haters on Twitter, and four-billion on Instagram. Uh-oh. I guess a lot of people must have seen that video. I log onto Splashtube and scream. It is the number one most popular video EVER! As I watch the video again, I get an email from Elbert. Oh, no.

‘Subject: You’re fired.’

I didn’t bother to read anymore after that.

I bawled for about fifteen minutes, and then suddenly I made a decision. I wouldn’t let these haters stop me. I would start over. I would change my name and my look and my attitude. Well, actually I have a pretty good attitude, so I’ll keep that the same. But I will no longer be Karrie Redger, Reality TV Star. I will be Katrina Craze, evil sixth grade teacher!

I click new message.

 

To: witnessprotectionprogram@wpp.com

From: karrie_redger@weemail.com

Subject: I need a new identity!

Message:  I’m sure by now you’ve probably seen the viral video of me.  Please don’t judge!  Anyway, I really need to join the witness protection.  Don’t ask why, I just do.   I’ll give you a million bucks.  Hope you consider me!  Sincerely, Karrie Redger (my new name is going to be Katrina Craze)

The End

A Dinner Disaster by Taubie Sanders, Amanda Bratsch, Beatrice Chillstrom, Nora Kushner‏

Kid: (playing on an electronic device) Mom/Dad what are we having for dinner tonight?

Parent: (doesn’t look up from cleaning the kitchen) Grandma and Grandpa are coming over for dinner tonight it’s up to them

Kid: (showing signs of disappointment) seriously Mom/Dad they’re gonna’ want to have-

Parent: (interrupting) (finally looking up from cleaning) You should feel bad for your grandparents they’re stuck in a nursing home up north

Kid: (rolls eyes) Mom/Dad they live in an apartment in the suburbs and play Mahjong with their old people friends all day

Parent: Just play on your phone, okay?

Kid: Mom/Dad they like to squish my face, call me boobelah, and tell me how tall I am!

Parent: (clueless) What’s wrong with that?

Kid: (in frustration) I’m only four foot two!

Parent: But you’re tall anyway!

Kid: (rolls eyes and goes back to playing on phone)

(Kid plays on phone; mom cleans for about ten seconds)

(PERSISTENT KNOCKING SOUND)

Parent: (frantically) That must be them! Go answer the door!  And be polite!

Kid: Okay, Okay!  (accidentally knocks phone onto the floor and knocks bowl of chips onto the table trying to pick it up)

Parent: (starts taking deep breaths trying to calm themselves) I’ll do it myself! Just go to your room, and don’t mess ANYTHING ELSE UP!

Kid:  Whatever. (puts on headphones with LOUD MUSIC strolls down the hallway doing weird dance moves and accidentally knocks down a picture on the wall) oops! I’ll pick it up! (struggles over the weight of the picture and drops it on foot) OW!

(door flies open because grandfather kicked it down)

Grandmother: (Yiddish accent) Boobelah! What’s wrong?

(runs over squishing KID’s face)

Grandfather: (Yiddish accent) My, my you’re so tall!

Kid: (struggling to speak with face being squished) I told you this would happen! (he starts kicking his feet trying to escape the GRANDMOTHER’s embrace)

Grandfather: We’re having Gefilte fish for dinner, right?

Kid: (storms off of stage) ugh!

Grandmother: Wait!  Boobelah!  Don’t run away from your Grandma!  Running away from your grandpa I understand, but not from your Grandma!

Parent: (rolling eyes) Kids these days.

Grandmother: If I got mad when I was younger I had to run out in the outhouse to get privacy.  This kid is spoiled rotten because you let him/her sleep inside like an actual human being!  I thought I raised you better than this!

Grandfather: You need to teach that kid some discipline

Kid: (yells from off stage) I heard that!                                                     

Grandfather: (angry) That’s exactly the type of behavior I’m talking about!

Grandmother: (protectively fighting) Don’t insult my boobelah!

Grandfather: You’re the one who brought it up!

Grandmother: You’re meshugana!  You brought it up!

Grandpa: No you did you meanie!

Parent: (interrupts) Okay, okay settle down everybody!

Grandparents: It’s your fault anyway you raised him/her wrong!

(KID enters stage)(everyone except KID starts arguing for ten seconds)

Kid: (shyly) Everybody stop arguing!

(everyone looks at KID)

Kid: (sad) This was supposed to be a nice dinner and I turned it into a horrible one!

Parent: (also saddish) No it’s not you’re fault it’s mine.  I couldn’t keep anybody under control.

Grandma: No! It’s my fault I wasn’t being a good bubby to my little boobelah (she squishes KID’s cheeks).

Kid: Stop.

(now ALL are sad)

Grandma: Sorry!

Grandpa: No it’s my fault!  I can’t be a good leader of this family.

Kid: Guys, you know what?  I think that we should start this dinner all over again.

Parent: I agree.

Kid: All in raise your hand.

(ALL raise hands)

Grandma: (talking to GRANDPA) Oh! You really have got to put on some deodorant!

Grandpa: (annoyed) Oy! Vey!

Parent: (trying to keep calm) Don’t start it.

Kid: Everyone, starting positions!

(GRANDMA and GRANDPA scramble to the door step and KID and PARENT stay in the kitchen.)

DAILY GLOBAL HOTWIRE!!! NEW SPECIES OF MONKEY FOUND IN LOCAL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BASEMENT by Gráinne Adedayo

"Curabitur Diabolus Volans (Flying Devil Monkeys) were discovered in the corners of the Meadowbrook Elementary basement by biologist Dr. Ky Nova" announced the principal of the prestigious school on Sunday. "It's not completely irrational for the Curabitur Diabolus Volans to be a new breed of monkey" said another expert in the field, Dr. Ada Elise. As of 2010 the basement was reportedly found inhabitable for new breeds of animals by The City of Golden Valley but no recent inspections have been conducted. "That could possibly be the reason why the new species of monkey was found" stated expert University of Minnesota student detective Crystal Groovetrip. The mysterious basement was searched for more species and none were found in even the darkest and dampest of places. In the fall of 2016 the school will be closed due to the unfortunately evil monkeys. It will be reopened once the flying devil monkeys are removed. Hopkins School District will hire the FBI to investigate further into the situation as it is just developing. The district is also expecting it's head ground keeper to resign after the unusual species are removed. The investigation of the Curabitur Diabolus Volans is still in process and we will be keeping you updated.